WEEK 49, BELGAUM, INDIA

THE SONG OF THE SENSIBLE

by Gorakh Pandey

What way the winds blow, I can understand

Why we show our backs to it, I can understand

I understand the meaning of blood

The value of money I understand

What is for and what is against, I can understand

I even understand this

We are scared to be able to understand, and remain silent.

I can understand the meaning of remaining quiet

When we speak we speak with thinking and understanding

The freedom to speak

Its meaning, I can understand

For a pathetic and measly employment

To sell our freedom, the meaning of that I can understand

But what can we do

When unemployment

Rises faster than the injustice

The dangers of freedom and unemployment, I understand

We narrowly escape the dangers of terror

I can understand

Why we escape and get saved, this too I can understand.

We remain disappointed and are pained by the Almighty if he does not just remain an imagination

We remain disappointed and are pained by the Government why it does not understand

We remain disappointed and pained by the common man because it succumbs to a herd mentality.

We remain pained by the pain of the entire world

I can understand

But how much we remain pained by this pain this too

I can understand

That opposition is the desired step to take

I can understand

At every step we make compromising understandings

I can understand

We make deep commitments for this understanding

Every deep commitment we present in ambiguous language

I can understand

The reason for this ambiguous language also

I understand.

Incidently, we do not consider ourselves

Less than anyone, I can understand

Every black to white

And white to black we are capable of converting

We are capable of creating a storm in a tea cup

If we want we can start a revolution also

If the Government is weak and the common man understanding

But I can understand

That there is nothing that we can do

Why there is nothing that we can do

This too I can understand.

The above a poem by poet Gorakh Pandey and my very inept translation. It was given to me by a my friend of a Hindi Daily, when he came to meet me on the occasion of my Birthday.

The poet Gorakh Pandey was a troubled human. Intelligent and anguished by the state of the nation. He had wanted to inspire with his writing and the strength of his thinking. When he failed he committed suicide. He was a brilliant student from the Benares Hindu University and later was with JNU – Jawaharlal Nehru University in Delhi.

The entire day has been spent in office discussing and watching strategic presentations.

I retire tonight With the following seminar's pix.

With love...

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, BELGAUM, INDIA

When was the last time you heard a good speech. One that impressed you in content and text. In expression and style. In the usage of terminology and language.

Those stalwarts are hard to find in today’s world and circumstances. Public speech was an excellent opportunity for communication of thought in days gone by. Now we have other tools that do that job. And not all of them hold any consequence in the glorification of the spoken word. Now all our information comes from Television and Radio. The language of the anchor becomes the language of the nation. Their expression, our expression; their thought ours. 

Is this what we want for ourselves. Bad expressions, irregular graph of speech, wrong pronunciations and tone ??

The days of languid lingering speech, of words you would dwell on, that would sink in and remain with you for years has long gone past. It is the time for brevity of expression and speed. The sooner and in as short a manner you convey is termed ‘with it’ and ‘cool’.

I find it sad.

The medium of communication is such an important weapon in the hands of a few select individuals and channels. How brilliantly and well they could be used to educate us all. Instead I find them polluting our knowledge atmosphere.

Speech and language is so important in communication. Be it an expression of love or of gratitude. Of resolving an issue or putting across a point of value. Of explanation. Of attitudes between two friends, between husband and wife, clients, customers, employees, guests, visitors. It conveys the attitude of our culture and up bringing.

How important therefore that we should come out looking good. But do we always ? 

Ponder…

More later.. they say my meeting papers are ready. Even this seemingly innocuous communication by the Assistant HR, conveys something. Their body language, their tone.. all. I observe and study. Perhaps out of habit. Because it is a topic of interest for me. Perhaps with a desire to utilize it in my work in meetings someday. Perhaps… 

OK… they are really screaming now for me to be in meet.. BYE

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, Udaivilas Hotel, Udaipur , INDIA

I finally stepped out of the room . And the experience within the Hotel was  overwhelming. It prompted me to become inconsistent and I missed the date. 

But I write today to make up.

It is bright and sunny and beautiful as always. The water fountains spill over artistic murals and I prepare myself to travel out. Nathdwara Temple, some kilometers away, then another important one on the way back and finally to the airport to head back home.

Sitting out in the large dining area last evening was pleasant and calm and softly beautiful. Candles and little covered coves, the lake on the side, reflecting the brightly lit Palace and the city expanse. On the other far side another island structure. Legend has it that the Maharana had given refuge to Shahjehan, the great Moghul Emperor who built the Taj Mahal, when his tyrant son Aurangzeb was threatening to kill him.

During one of my visits a bunch of my colleagues and I had visited it and spent hours inside the large domed residence, clearing our lungs in song. The natural acoustics there would challenge the most modern technological apparatus of today.

Much of the day was spent West Winging ! And imagining, as the story enfolded episode after episode, how the new entrant into those hallowed portals would conduct himself.

What is it about creativity that when portrayed with some excellence, warms the heart and moistens the eyelids. There is no personal emotional connection, yet a moment of….

Just gets the hair to goose bump..

While on President elect, many send their compliments, many laud the historic event and some took umbrage to a few of the quotes that I mentioned in previous blog. Many feel offended that I could entertain such thoughts.

Correction.. they are NOT my thoughts ! They are quotes sent to me. I copied them to the blog. To share with you what I accumulate. To comment upon. They are not my thoughts. I welcome the reactions, not the abuse.

Still… if it is offensive, my apologies. I shall refrain from sharing such content.

What I did feel, was an expression from one of my directors. He felt that suddenly life had become longer. The expression that ‘you only live once’ or ‘life is too short’ sounded silly and redundant.

How wonderful that one man’s success can convert a large universe to thinking thus.

How wonderful that meaning and purpose to life can be influenced by one with whom you may never have personal connection.

How quickly we acquire strength and resolve merely by witnessing the strength and resolve of another.

How wonderful if we could all follow example and commitment and bring sanity and peace in our beautiful world !!!

Just have a look at few pictures, those i clicked during this visit. Here it is for you all.

The bobbing turrets of the hotel around the premise..

A view from the terrace of my room. Exclusive, elegant and so pretty..

The Palace of the Maharana.. towering and majestic

More beauty outside the room.. the private pool and the cozy ‘jharokas’ in the traditional shape..

The lotus with the marble an stone, by the water body..

The Sun God emblem just after the foyer of the Udaivilas Hotel. The Sun God emblem, the emblem of the Mewar Maharana’s. The steps leading up to the rooms. Exquisite.

As you enter, this is what is seen. The grand architecture and that white design you see is actually awater pool and the flowers are of marble and floating on the water… beautiful…

The delicate fountain in the foyer of the room.. nothing overt and unpleasant. Simple and attractive. The water not flowing in a gush, but just enough to trickle over the brim.

Wish you were here…

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, BELGAUM, INDIA

Life begins to come back. To a routine. To regularity. It spurs you on from the early hours. I wake up at 3 am thinking it is 6 – the time for me to get up and go to the gym, to push the body, to stress the heart, to breathe well. It is invigorating.

But when the work starts, matters and circumstances, commitments and opinions, speculation and advice, all combine into one big large mountain of oppression, that tears away at your skin and spirit.

So much hatred and evil resides in those that conduct themselves ostensibly for those that seek. But they succeed in seeking malice only. How much effort of mind body and soul goes into the making of a destructive mind. A mind in denial. A regressive body that endeavors to disqualify without the remotest qualifying thought. That etches for posterity a deed that has never warranted or desired mention.

Why do we encounter such minds and thoughts and expressions. Is it our dictated fate and circumstance. Why would the wretchedness of evil defile pure countenance. To scar imperfection into a state of permanency ?

I ask invalid questions and give unwanted presence.

It may be prudent to be the usual and the painstaking norm. For the moment anyway …

“Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakes.”

“Even a small dot can stop a big sentence. But … few more dots can give a continuity. Amazing but true … Every ending can be a beginning.”

“Sometimes God pushes us to our limits. HE tests us beyond our endurance; because He has greater faith in us, than we have of ourselves.”

“Winners look for opportunity .. and when they can’t find any .. they make them.”

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

Namaskar, Aadab, Sat sri akal, shub ratri, shab a khair .. 

Good night !!

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, BELGAUM, INDIA

“Where there is contentment, there cannot be resentment.
 
One who is content, is always victorious !”

This poem was nominated for the best poem for 2005.

Written by an African kid –

“When I born, I black.

When I grow up, I black.

When I go in sun, I black.

When I scared, I black.

When I sick, I black.

And when I die, I still black.

And you white fella …

When you born, you pink.

When you grow up, you white.

When you go in sun, you red.

When you cold, you blue.

When you scared, you yellow.

When you sick, you green.

And when you die, you grey …

And you calling me colored ??”

An African saying –

“If you want to walk quick, walk alone.

If you want to walk far, walk together.”

It’s a day I have spent alone. Alone with my Father. A Father who is physically no longer with me but who dwells around me. In my speech, in habit, in demeanor and in spirit.. Had not my Father written in a letter that he felt my birth to be incarnate ? An incarnation of his own Father ? Is that which dwells in me ?

I read excerpts from his description of his early years. The hurdles and hard times. The poverty of materialism and the richness of thought and ideal. And you ponder at all the effort and pain they went through without revealing anything to us. And today with the grace of the Almighty as you sit in relative comfort, you lament the fact that you were unable to lend a supportive hand towards their condition. How could we have ? We were young and small and gullible and unable to stand erect on our feet. But we still wonder – ‘I hope I was able to do enough for them. Provide them with all that they missed. Give them whatever they had desired, bringing us up. Wish I had asked them once, just once whether they were happy with what we did for them. Never felt the need to. And neither did they.’

Now there is but the written letter. A hand written letter, an object curio that connects with their memory. A harsh reminder of their absence.

His words are precious pearls, rimmed with gold. I take solace in their wisdom and the liberty of sharing it with the extended family –

“Read my words with care; it is possible you may find a solution in them.

There is in this world, hardly ever a thinking emotional human, that does not face problems. The manhood in a man is in this that he solve his problems. In confronting his problems and fighting them does the human develop and make progress. It is the animal only that does not have any problems, so let us who pride ourselves in being humans resolve and fight against issues that trouble us so that we may establish the right to be well meaning, intelligent humans.

We have to move with the belief that there is in this world no problem that does not have a solution and no knotted issue that cannot be opened. There are many knots that time resolves, many that resolve with the help of others, but the most difficult and gravest knots of life are only resolved by man himself. Here the help from others never works irrespective of his extreme closeness with you. One must possess the self confidence to understand the issue and then the belief to resolve it. Nothing is resolved in haste and sitting idle on a problem has never brought any solution. You will have to take care of your own problem. If you will believe that there is a solution, you will definitely find it.

The great poet Kabir says – Jin khoja tin paieeya, gehre pani paith.

I do not write to you this letter with a solution. Sometimes merely putting across the problem in correct perspective, makes it easy to find the solution. I want to put across to you your problem through my perspective. It is possible that it will help you put some light on the matter.

For man, the most essential and difficult job is to know himself. Many great philosophers and thinkers have said – Know Thyself. The ease with which this is said and spoken cannot be translated into the ease with which it can be made result oriented.

You are educated and holding a good job and many in this world would be satisfied with this. There are many in this country that are not fortunate to have this also. But you are not satisfied. You feel that you cannot rest with just this. You want to do more. You feel you have the ability to do more. To experience, to give something to the world, to take something from it. In short you want to do such labor, which enables the honest individual in you to find a definite destination or shape.

This is the restlessness of an artist.

If you have really been made to be an artist, if nature has decided to make you an artist, if art has enveloped and captured you, then in the true meaning of worldly wiseness you cannot call yourself to be fortunate. For in the measure of an artist, no one in this world can be more fortunate than you. The peace that comes in the wake of the desire that work and labor and effort that an artist puts in, cannot be compared even with the wealth of Kuber or the materialistic vaults of Karu`n.

An artist is the king of his world and when he sits on his throne, there is no one in this world that can be seen by him to be bigger than him. Because not only has he got to know himself he also knows that he has got himself.

Woh apne ko jaan hi nahin leta, pa bhi leta hai.

But the path of an artist is not easy.

In reality it is a most difficult path. Artists all over the world have suffered many obstacles and problems before giving life to their art; before living their art. Before stepping out into the world, the path of your art, you must ask yourself whether you are ready for the sacrifice, the hard work and perseverance that it demands. If not, then there are many other paths to acquire in this world which can keep you happy. And they are not too bad either. A majority of the world follows this route.

You have not yet even reached your path, you have merely seen it and seeing the obstacles in front of you, you have been scared. Thisdoes not give an artist any respect or dignity. The circumstances that stand before you are mobile, moveable, they will change and suit your countenance. But an artist must never always work in conditions that are suitable. Greatness is never a slave of circumstances. Large greatnesses will move ahead despite unsuitable circumstances. It challenges that which is against it. That is what gives it the inspiration to move forward.

I become philosophical. It is important in life to be practical too.

Circumstances are not conducive at the moment. Wait a while. You have to prepare and learn still. Keep doing that. But one day you will have to face the danger. Those that have not faced any danger in life have not achieved anything.

I too have faced the struggles of an artist in my own way, the echoes of which you will find in my writings. ……..’

There is more in the letter. But only of personal relevance. I have posted a picture of it above. It lies in front of the page which exhibits your responses. My translation from his Kannada is insipid. His prose reads like poetry. I cannot and shall not be able to do justice to it.

It is coming on to midnight and many among you will show anguish at my late hours, so I retire. Retire to be with you tomorrow. With what ? I have no idea. Good. It would rob spontaneity.

As I lie, I shall arouse the tube and allow it to flicker my drowsy head into sleep….

Apt use of the electronic ?

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, BELGAUM, INDIA

It happened again. I wrote extensively last night late till around 1:30 am and even after saving it I think pressed a wrong button it all disappeared. In deep frustration I went off to sleep. This morning as I wait to go to the airport and on to Pune and on to Office again, I attempt to connect again with my well and trusted friends across the world of networks.

Its never the same as you sit down to reconstruct that which is lost. In writing or in life. The air is not the same the temperament is not the same our countenance is not the same. Its almost as if it was destined to happen then, and now destiny is not the same. The body could be there, the position the setting the instruments all the same, but for some strange reason the frame is different and so the mind.

So now, whenever it is time to leave I shall also leave the ‘post’ in whatever stage it is and for which I beg to be excused.

Yesterday in office was a day full of humor and camaraderie. There was laughter and joy and smiles and back slapping. There was song and romance, there was rhythmic movement, the air was throbbing with happiness.

Today, because of my business in meetings, the air is different. The faces are grim and sombre. There is apprehension. It is not because they feel different today. It is because they feel my busyness and perhaps give it respect. I am humbled by their attitude. I wish I could have been like yesterday, but it is difficult to suppress my work pressure. So much concern for the fellow being. So much concern for the fellow professional. I am blessed to be in such company. Thank you members of the company. I shall endeavor to bring cheer. It is what we must all do, despite our own personal busyness.

Off to the airport. More later perhaps if there is connection tonight. Else there is always Mr MOBLOG !!

My love for you as always -

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, PUNE, INDIA

It started at 5:00 am. The alarm on the mobile – my trusted keeper of time, management and contact. It wakes me up, manages my day and helps me keep in contact through the MoBlog, with those that matter to me.

You ! My friends and keepers of my conscience !

The best thoughts, the best ideas and the best writing comes during the moments when the sun struggles out from behind the dark monsoon clouds.

When Hanuman desired to gain knowledge he went to the Almighty and asked Him how he could achieve that. The Almighty guided him to the Sun. Go there, he said, the Sun is the giver of all knowledge. When Hanuman approached the Sun he was in for a rude shock. I am continuously moving said Sun, how can I impart knowledge to you. Hanuman was smarter. I shall face you and walk backwards as you move and gain whatever you need to teach me. You keep moving, I shall keep learning.

A symbolic tale ! Which is why the importance of rising before the sun.

The best thoughts and ideas come then.

It is late and I can see the anxiety coming through the readers – ‘this man is crazy to be up so late after a hard day to write a post’.

But I am lost and disturbed when I falter. Once I commit I hate to break it. I feel the presence of my readers and well wishers standing by my side with expectant expressions, waiting for something to come their way.

I am making a quick endeavor, because I must be up at 5:30 am for another commitment.

For long Indians talked about the glorious past. This generation talks of the glorious future.

This is an important observation, a pertinent reflection of changing times, a decisive acknowledgement of not just what we think about ourselves but what collectively the world is thinking about us. And we must dwell on this chapter with greater intensity.

I must to bed now. I know this is insufficient material for the day, but tomorrow is another one and there will be opportunity to make amends.

Till then, dearest ones, I shut my eyes.

You will remain with me throughout the night -

Love and admiration and a warm embrace -

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, PUNE, INDIA

Is not being kind and good, the truth of life ? 

I was always taught to believe that. Many feel it is quite the opposite. Kindness and goodness are not the truths of life they say. In today’s world if you exhibit kindness it is meant to signify that there is a deeper motive hidden behind. If you are being good it is with purpose.

The purity of deed conducted in a realm that breathes unselfish air, has been tainted. Now perhaps for life.

No longer does there exist a desire to believe and trust with immeasurable faith. The ways of modern life and living have been bludgeoned into by suspect behavior .

 Because there is scant respect for honesty in a corrupt society, it has taken a comfortable and lazy seat at the back of the hall. When one is exposed to such impurity, one becomes firm in belief that that is normal and correct behavior. In a society closed and cocooned within its own thinking, there is ever hardly an effort or desire to explore fresh terrain. Some elder or experienced individual, who may have gained faith not entirely because of his current deeds, will become the voice of all reason and decision. His presence amongst others or to the world, then carries different and more severe connotations. 

Why does one individual come with a preconceived agenda. Why does he question or put doubts into those minds that may have never faced questioning. Is someone’s intent written on their  foreheads. Many question that and say that it is and indeed have capacity to read it. Surely that would require some basic intellect. Is basic intellect always impure and corrupt.

I ponder a lot over some of these issues when I notice humans and their behavior. What a great deal of negativity must be utilized to continuously consider evil manipulation and thought. One evil thought would require endless amounts of energy and strength. Would it not serve better purpose if that energy were to be gifted, wrapped in  endless reams of good natured paper.

Is it not right to follow the right path. Or is the left better. Would such indulgence cause you to be left behind.

Why hate on perception. Or is perception the better life. Why judge a state when its reality does not require judgement. Can opinion be formed from what I know from others. Does it not encourage greater pollution.

How does a mind function in such circumstances, or does it not need to. Why does the polluted minds of others disturb the purity of your own. This percentage is small. Small percentages are often close to extinction. Are some of us on the verge of extinction. Would that not be a sad day in the life of normal mortals. Mortals who claim their existence has all along been subjected to only the purity  and compassion expected of them.

Who then wins, or does it not matter.

Regards

Harish Nayak

WEEK 48, GOA, INDIA

First of all.... Wishing you a very happy birthday, Miss Sowmya Prabhu... (My friend from Kerala). This poem is just for you.

 

I'm so lucky to have
A special friend like you,
May all your B'day hopes
And wishes come true!


It has been said that real friends
Are very hard to find.
The ones that stay when times are tough
A real friend - the lasting kind.
As I travel through this life,
I know one thing is true.
I will never find a better friend
Than I have found in YOU!
Happy Bday to a special friend!


I hope your birthday
Is a happy one,
And filled with surprises,
Pleasure and fun!

Enjoy every moments of your life.. and stay as blessed as ever.

Dim dark lights, cozy cuisine, thumping music, gentle lamp candles, courteous service, a host of friends and place is Goa...

Laughter and camaraderie, hugs and air kisses, balloons and interesting menu wares, decorations at the TRAMPS … the ‘it’ place many years ago, probably still is … read about it , heard about it and finally in it tonight .. how life draws and withdraws !!

here are times in the days of our life when we wished we had what the other had. There are times in the days of our life when the other sits with more than what you have, and the realisation that you will never have what they have. There are times in the days of your life, when you wonder why they have and not you. There are times in the days of our life when, knowing what the other has can never be yours, that you begin to reconcile. There are times in the days of our life when you judge your presence in the presence of the other ; when you feel and realise the difference and if young enough not to be able to understand this social distance, do lament the fact of this ‘injustice’.  

Youth and early years perhaps never drive our thoughts towards thinking of this ‘glaring discrepancy’ that is being meted out to us. We complain and question those that bring us into this world, as to why this has happened to us, why we are not on equal terms with our friend in the classroom, in college, at work and in our social circle. Many of us accept quite humbly that, that is how it has been fated. Many do not and revolt in their own way towards it. They either shun their company, at times cynically addressing them as that ‘superior lot’, or most often make them your closest, simply because you find great friendship qualities in them, or, and this is worthy of debate and perhaps too sensitive, you enjoy the accoutrements that shadow them.

But there are some that fail to succumb to all of the above and determine instantly the disparity, the want, the difference … and resolve to amend it. Amend it by immense power of will to never ever allow a situation of the others want and position. Of wanting to be not just like them, but to better their own standing, to be looked at the way, they had at a time looked at the other.

That is a resolve, a determined mission, a destination evaluated to be achieved. One that shall incentivate all energies in getting to it at all cost. And when achieving it to not merely dwell on it but to keep working at not just keeping it alive but enhancing it, each moment ; the insecurity of the past perpetually haunting our present !!

Those that have perhaps lived through generations of the ‘affluent’, may never allow such conditions to ever cross their settled minds. But those that have seen and experienced the inadequacies and wants of the past, shall.

An insecurity may drive one constantly, unrestful, wary and vulnerable in state. There is belief that the fear of insecurity could be enough to garner sufficient reason to continue in progress. There is also the mythic compulsions, if they can be called that, of what certain morals of life may have been instilled in us at early inductions. 

The abhorrence towards greed. The worthiness of satisfaction. Of praising the Almighty for giving what He did, and not challenging it. Of acceptance, fulfilment, and the glory of having at least that which has been bestowed upon us.

Yet, there are some that refuse to rest on glittering laurels. Who take insecurity in stride, devour it, never permitting it to raise its uncertain Hydra Head, and with the belief and the strength of their confident ritualistic curricula, drive on in marauding fashion, destroying all recognised and practised documented skill, climbing and conquering the highest and the mighty, at times, yardsticks constructed by themselves, towards unreachable peaks of excellence, achievement and power of singular presence !

There are times in the days of our life, when we ponder and acknowledge this power. There are times in the days of our life when we ponder too on why we were unable to reach such achievement. Why some were made greatly more than us - prettier, better, accomplished, and with the means that we shall never have !!

And … when we cannot discover the righteous answers to all, we fall back on that one aspect of all our lives - the faith and the power of the ‘unknown force’, on the one that resides ‘above’ and watches and conducts us through the baton of his philharmonic, on ‘karma’ and the theosophy of it, on deeds of our life in the past life, the good or the bad, the evil or the sacrifice done … 

What an easy way out of all that realistically rests within us all, in our hands and in our minds. We stop because we feel defeated. We do not pursue because we wrongfully accept our limit. We allow the other to overtake us, because we know that it has been ordained thus …

NOOOOOO !!!

We shall fight the fight. Sweat the sweat. Attempt the attempts. And allow what we may have missed, to be dismissed.

Complexities shall and will exist, as must they should. There will be inequality and distinct distinction. The lesser shall always be in the awe inspiring, more. The bourgeoisie will ever find complexity in the elite and the class. That shall ever remain a constant, for some will ‘have’, and most ‘have not’ ..

But .. majority lies with the ‘have not’, and in all walks, majority rules. That then is the advantage. That then is the disadvantage of the ‘have’.

Pity not, nor ever make error of sympathy with the ‘nots’. That to me could be the most appalling and atrocious mis judgement.

A majority of life’s existence has been built brick by brick, by the ‘nots’. Look around you and see. Feel their presence about, for they have remarkable tales of how they ‘have’ now. If not by choice, at least by example follow them that did not tread the chosen path of lament, instead visit and ensure the proven path that they structured for the ultimate deed of survival and success …

There is however a matter of concern that must be addressed. The insecurity of inferior complex, gives rise invariably to the over indulgence of superiority.

Superiority complexes have the ugly habit of peeling off the tender skin of a festered inferiority.

May the effort and the labor of coming out on top ever be compelled to a brashness unbecoming of the acquired achievement. May they be Blessed that do and survive. It cannot form a recommended generalisation for many.

Those that achieve, take an earnest and pleasurable, honest look at their modest past. Some with humble pride, others with a certain disdain.

I would never be able to ‘look back in anger’. If all achievement were to be lost tomorrow, I would be happy and content with the lower middle class that I always have been. But then … this too is too presumptuous a thought - I need to believe first that I have achieved any, at all. 

I share with you, all that comes to me when I talk to myself … 

You have then occupied and inhabited me   .. or so I strongly believe !!

My love …

Harish Nayak